When about to embark on the tedium of grocery shopping, I have often thought it would just be easier to hijack someone’s cart. The only job would be to filter out the undesirable items: anything green, head cheese, canned water chestnuts, handbags. Most of your shopping would be done for you. And there would be an endless supply of individuals to which you could perform this victimless crime. Victimless, except of course, the victim.
To prevent someone from stealing my empty cart, as so often happens in these tight economic times, I simply place a large, bulky item in it. This immediately stamps the cart as mine, and mine alone, throughout the duration of my loonie (one dollar coin) impregnating the cart. One time, however, I forgot to remove this random item and found myself loading a 20 kilo sack of birdfeed into the minivan. I was forced to buy a birdfeeder. Good thing I hadn’t bought a 12 pack of baby formula.