Posted in humor

Parallel Hell

I am a good driver.  I have been accident free for over twenty years.
This means that I have generally avoided scrapes and mishaps by sometimes a whisker. There but for the grace of, you know the rest.

The secret of my success? I have a great knack of anticipation that drifts into paranoia. Even writing this blog post makes my superstition alarm bells go off, as they would if I walked under a ladder. (which I’d never do, who wants a can of paint on the noggin?)

parking van fml.png
Backing into a space poses a challenge for yours truly.

Ergo, shouldn’t I be the Roger Federer of parking given the years of practice? You would think so.

My favorite go-to, right rear wheel elevated jauntily ON the curb, my kids donning paper bags as they exit the car, passersby hissing.

I am always up for a challenge and often will tackle a small space with success. I feeparking 1.pngl an afterglow of pride for hours afterwards. I start to drive in an altruistic (for me) manner: allowing drivers the right of way, and actually stopping for pedestrians.
I do the same parking maneuver every time. Like a tennis stroke, however, there are an infinite number of variables. My mood, prevailing winds, etc.

I will follow the textbook procedure to the letter but, at some point I may or may not lose my bearings, panic setting in, depending on how many cars I am holding up.

3 hour.pngback up ing.pngThat performance anxiety sets in. Another parking horror will emerge. Backing into a space also seems to be a challenge. (see pic) As I took the picture of the resulting atrocity, passersby commented on the crappiness of the parking. I nodded and allowed that yes, it was shite, and left out that I was documenting my own car! (I do have my pride)

Thanks for reading! Happy motoring!

Author:

I am a Sansei, with two teens, and a hamster. This blog is a repository for ideas and observations, expressed in cartoon form, by and large. A bit of a journal too. Feel free to follow me on INSTAGRAM @ WILTOONS, (the Twitter for people who like to go out) where I post a journal comic. Thanks for dropping by! The pic is of me and my boy Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits. (not really a fan but he wanted his pic with me) © Wilton Sugiyama and Wiltoons, 2009 to 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Wilton Sugiyama and Wiltoons with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. So there.

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