Posted in parties

Party Codes

 

Now it is high summer and the time for attending parties, barbecues, and random get-togethers.

Awful, isn’t it.

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Yours truly has never been a party person (though I can play that role if cornered, but must always take a 6-week sabbatical afterwards). Because my wife IS decidedly one, a 24-hour party person, that is – I employ some coping strategies (you know, to keep the marriage on the smooth asphalt and not that side road, with all the boulders and potholes). Here’s the formula, for those of you of that bent: Happy wife = happy life.

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I will go to a party and will generally gravitate to (after seeing what is on offer at the refreshment tables) whomever seems to be at a loose end. We will, hopefully bond, as fellow outcasts. I will usually employ the ‘what’s your passion’ strategy, as opposed to ‘what do you do to keep the wolf from the door’, which is a much less interesting conversation, generally. (Oh you’re in IT. Wilt’s brain scrambles for some conversational common ground. He decides, ‘Heh heh, now everything’s in the cloud, I like clouds, my favourite’s cumulus’  is less than ideal)  ‘What’s your passion‘ usually opens up a very rich conversation, I would highly recommend it, as a general rule.

I am usually interrupted in my excellent one-on-one by the arrival of a long-lost acquaintance of the ‘outcast’, and am cast aside like a soiled Kleenex. To save face, I will talk nonsensically into my smart phone, or my car alarm key fob, if the phone is not readily available.

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All this conversational dexterity and acts of subterfuge is, in the end, extremely exhausting. There is only so much party I can take – I mean, being ‘on’ takes its toll, both mentally and physically. My charisma starts to waver eventually, and I begin to cast about – looking for an escape route. Where’s a Barnes and Noble when you need one? Would it be offensive to pull out Infinite Jest and bury my nose in it? If that is drywall, I should be able to punch my way through – I’ll do a test kick with my shoe heel.

I usually have quite a stable of books on my smart phone, which I can peruse, while appearing to be doing some ‘important’ work. Creasing your forehead, sticking your tongue out of a corner of your mouth, ensures that you will a) not be disturbed and b) appear to be involved in loftier pursuits.

Party codes. These can be employed when verbal communication is not possible between 2 persons. These codes can convey important messages that, if verbalized, might cause, well . . . I like to call it ‘unpleasantness’.  Do you WANT to be invited to future parties? Yes, a hard NO. This is real life, though.

Here are the party codes. You’re welcome and enjoy your summer.

 

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Bring the car to the front with the engine running.

………………

 

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Bail me out of this conversation.

…………………..

 

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My/your boss is in the next room.

……………..

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I have used up all my party witticisms. Shall we depart?

 

 

Author:

I am a Sansei, with two teens, and a hamster. This blog is a repository for ideas and observations, expressed in cartoon form, by and large. A bit of a journal too. Feel free to follow me on INSTAGRAM @ WILTOONS, (the Twitter for people who like to go out) where I post a journal comic. Thanks for dropping by! The pic is of me and my boy Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits. (not really a fan but he wanted his pic with me) © Wilton Sugiyama and Wiltoons, 2009 to 2020. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Wilton Sugiyama and Wiltoons with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. So there.

4 thoughts on “Party Codes

  1. Great post! I can totally relate. I can appear normal for short bursts of time, but then my true socially awkward self comes out in the form of word vomit. For some reason, when people are looking at me as if expecting me to say something, my mouth opens up and starts spewing out the most nonsensical, non-sequitur, apropos of nothing gobbledygook anyone has ever given voice to. Meanwhile my brain is hiding in a cave somewhere in the recesses of my psyche.

    Alcohol helps, but, unfortunately, I’m not much of a drinker.

    Thanks for the great post! I really enjoyed it.

  2. Well, thanks Biff, that means a lot. Normal for short bursts – LOL!

    Seriously though, as I’ve grown older and, hopefully, wiser, I have come to realize that most people are as full of doubt and insecurity as yours truly. Some just conceal it better than others. My mum is the extrovert of the family, and I have inherited her gregarious English side. My father, OTOH, is the polar opposite – Mr. cerebral mechanical engineer. (I know, odd name, his parents were very prescient) Heh heh but, see what I’m saying? Just like me and my chatty missus, though she can’t hold a candle to my mum’s verbal output.

    1. You ARE blessed then, sir! I am glad you enjoy your parties. My car is always pointing in the direction of the nearest library or book store. Thanks for commenting!

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