Posted in anxiety, depression, uncategorized

Mind on Fire

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This a harrowing first person account of mental illness. An extraordinary peek into that hellish world.

Here is a short passage:

When I return, the room is as still and silent as it was when I left, nothing moving but faint dust motes in the lamplight. Not one of the men looks at me, yet I have an unnerving sense that they have been waiting for me to return.

Then it hits me: they know I am a dead man walking, a ghost already in their midst. What are they going to do to me? What have they done? What have they set in motion? How am I to die?

And it is so blindingly obvious then: the car, it is the car; while I was in the bathroom they placed a booby-trap bomb under my car and it will explode and kill me when I turn the key in the ignition. It is their guilt at my impending execution that causes them to avert their gaze: they feel remnants of guilt already that they have killed me.

A sudden sob escapes me. I momentarily break down in front of them, in fear of what is about to happen, and in self-pity. Defeated, deflated, totally abject and bereft now, I accept my fate.

This is a lived reality of mental illness and is frequently gripping throughout. Highly recommended.

I have long tried to understand this illness, given that we have two close family members with the disease. The stigma is still strong, but a lot more understanding of the disease is out there which is breaking down long held barriers.

Posted in anxiety, uncategorized

Closet

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Back to a favourite theme of mine: anxiety. We all suffer from it to a degree, and therefore I find it a relatable topic.

I am now going to gear down my postings.

  1. It’s summer.
  2. Not through a paucity of material. I, in fact, have too much, and don’t want to swamp you with my work (too late, probably).
  3. Probably twice a week for the time being, as I concentrate on my Instagram following and work I am submitting. The less said the better, we cartoonists are a superstitious bunch.
Posted in anxiety, uncategorized

Insect Anxiety

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Semi-autobiographical post. I would spend many hours destroying and dismantling bugs, as a child. I occasionally step on them, though I don’t go out of my way to do so, being a bit squeamish. Now, my teen kids ask me to ‘deal’ with insect situations – they are both not fans of bugs. I never kill them, choosing instead, to release them to the mercy of birds and other predators. Of course, the insect redress may never reach a balance – the scale still tips heavily with the many bugs I dispatched in childhood!

Posted in anxiety, uncategorized

Worst Fear

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Willy is up to his old tricks (Trix are for kids BTW), trying to be all things to all people. We all know what a shell game THAT is. My advice, think of someone you admire, and channel yourself through THEIR essense. What would THEY do or say in any given situation? Failing that, there is an awful ot of good content on Netflix these days.