Just once I wished I could say that I’ve been going to the gym for years, and hear, ‘I can tell’, instead of ‘I would never have guessed’, followed by a dubious look, and muffled giggles.
2. Why would you even consider such a flagrant invasion of privacy? Wade past the advertisements, click-bait, the video of that kitten that fell out of a car on the freeway, a morass of notifications, and you will actually find useful information online. In the gym, watch but don’t stare, if you must. Any gym employee worth his salt should be able to help you out.
3. NEVER rest for more than a minute on a bench. Staff will assume the worst and approach with the defibrillator. Embarrassing for all concerned. Likewise, do not sit on an apparatus scrolling through your feeds on your smart phone. This is known as being an #$%@!! Save it for behind the wheel. (BUMPER STICKER: How’s my texting)
4. Know your limits. DO NOT overextend yourself. Ask for a spot. And also GIVE spots. This is known as manly discourse. Be gruff , mutter a lot, throw some curt nods.
5. The gym is no place to practice your newly found, super-cool, hardcore movements. Do them at home and have your kids record you.
6. Trust me. Do NOT bring this beverage into a gym. Is an explanation even necessary?
7. And we come to the final DON’T. As in, DON’T LEAVE A MESSY STATION. In most other areas of my life, including my laptop desktop, chaos rules supreme. If I devoted as much effort in keeping the gym tidy as I did in keeping the house clean, well, marital harmony would ensue. As a parent, I am long inured to putting things away for safety reasons (not quickly enough, according to my better half), and the same principles apply at the gym, where the potential for grievous bodily harm are amped up.
Bonus content: Here is how to dress, for acceptability in the gym. My work here is done.Thanks for checking in, and I’ll see you at the gym, though my pass has expired, and there are a few series I need to catch up on . . .
A sporadic cartoon from Paul White
It's all true! (That's not true)
While my menopausal wife thrashes around in a heat fuelled delirium, these are my night time monologues from the spare bedroom.
Finding the humor in everyday life.
Bad dad cartoons 101 and other funny stuff, disclaimer: may contain occasional Junior High humor
A Real Look at Life as a Mother
the stories behind the pictures, and vice versa
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sailaway from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain
Cartoons on Life and Medicine
I make bitter better.
Pictures and stories from people and the world around me
A Dream Journal
The wit and wisdom of a man who has neither...
Random Thoughts and Musings of a Modern Artist
The thing is...
Finding inspiration in the little things