Posted in Vancouver

Pirate Ship

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One of the joys of living on the (West, though some wags refer to it as ‘Wet’) coast, are the variety of watercraft that one comes across. Here is what appears to be a pirate ship, no doubt docked here to traffic its plunder, but not a pirate to be found. Likely they are enjoying a pleasant shore leave at a Motel 6.

I imagine, armed with their cutlasses, and selfie sticks, they were hitting all the local tourist spots. I am confident that while there is likely a ‘talk like a pirate’ policy on board, actual piratical activities are restricted. Keel hauling and plank walking would be real crowd pleasers, in this writer’s opinion.

Posted in humor, Vancouver

High Pool Confidential

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Here is a nice little luxury at one of the apartments in downtown Vancouver.  This is an area of real estate for anyone who has their own personal shower in a plane. It is a pool that extends into thin air, giving the public at large a sight of your ballooning swim trunks and un-Phelps-like doggy paddle.

I imagine, of course, a strict dress code would be in place so as not to offend looky-loos (with their telephoto lenses) – bathing attire from the 1890s, or those full body sunscreen suits that make you look like you just fell in the pool, would be acceptable.

A better idea would be to make it into an aquarium. I don’t mean with a shark and periodic kitten feedings but a genuine world class tropical fish tank where they are fed with a t-shirt gun.

Hey, just running stuff up a flagpole, seeing who salutes. One thing for sure, there will not be any cetaceans. Our local aquarium has been banned from having any in captivity. Thx for reading! Hope you are enjoying your summer!

Posted in dogs, life, Vancouver

The Dead Dog

In my travels, I came upon a dead dog. (Great first line for an epic world-building fantasy) He was lying in the middle of a parking space in Granville Island, an artsy/touristy area of Vancouver that I love to visit and soak up the creative vibes.

I knelt down, trying to remember my first responder abc’s. You know, Airway, Breathing, and the

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third one. Might I need to perform mouth to muzzle? Was a defibrillator nearby? I thought how, upon revival, a dog would be forever in my debt.

However, before being caught inflagrante, the owner, an artist in a nearby studio, appeared. Oh, he does that
all the time, I was told, lies down in random spots. He’s a bit elderly so he is happy to saunter aimlessly. (Like the elderly do on cruise ships!) Then, when he has had enough,  collapses like a puppet whose strings have been cut. (Again, like the elderly) Hence, and you might be able to see it in the photo, the tag around his neck: I AM NOT LOST.

Made my day! I was very happy not to have to spatula a dead dog from the ground. (I think there is an emoji for that) Thanks for reading!